One of the hardest things to do as a Parent is to let them go. I just sent my 3 off to Nashville to live full time to pursue their music career as a girl band. The 4th one is in college in Philadelphia. If you think it's hard raising them....just wait til you see how hard it is to live without them. The constant cleaning, the endless homework, the millions of meals, the decisions and endless teaching of morals and values was all a walk in the park compared to how difficult this is. At least when they are there, you have some form of control over their life....you have some say...some way of being there for them as a guide and influence. But once they're out the door, all you can do is trust that they will be safe and happy, and of course hope with all your might that all of their dreams will come true. I used to hate when people would say to me..."Oh honey. Enjoy it now because these years go by so fast!" There were so many days that I thought, "If I have to wash this floor one more time, I'm gonna lose my mind!" And now I see that all of those people were absolutely right. It DOES go by SO fast!
In my book, "The Greatest Job on Earth: Extraordinary Parenting", I have a whole chapter devoted to Independence. I believe this is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. It's much harder to let them go ...to let them figure it out on their own. I truly believe that if you want them to grow and develop into extraordinary people, we as Parents have to do the harder thing - let them go. Let them decide for themselves. Let them choose what is best for themselves. Let them find what it is that defines them. They are not us. And my experience is that a lot of us Parents fall into the trap of placing on our kids what we think is best...what we think is right....what we believe. Who is to say that what is right for us is right for them? It is only for each individual human to say. It's easy to make them little clones of us. The hard part is to set them free and let them blossom into who THEY decide they should be. And miss them terribly in the process.